WHEN THE NOSE GOES...

We've all been there: a heated argument, a woman is involved, there's a shovel handy, some biting, you're in Iowa.

Apologies to Donroy Merrival, 32, of Iowa City, but biting off another man's nose is not a proportionate response to getting smashed in the face with a shovel.

The nose couldn't be salvaged, leaving his unnamed victim permanently disfigured and reconsidering his ditch-digging hobby. Lemons into lemonade, isn't this how Humpty Hump got started?